What To Do If You're In Between Jobs

The key is in not spending time, but in investing it.
Stephen R. Covey

Unemployment gives you time to do your other passions and to set goals.

WHETHER IT'S A PERSONAL CHOICE or a setback caused by the economy and other entities outside our control, finding ourselves unemployed (especially over an extended period) can give us feelings of insecurity, boredom and self-doubt. Now that we are no longer crunching at a fast-paced 8-to-5 job we've had for several years, our usual checklist of things to do has turned into a measly lineup of Netflix movies to watch and grocery items to buy, while our mobile calendars have become so empty except for those dental appointments we dread going to. And these can be unnerving.
I recently got married to my husband who is an expat, and I am now on my third continent. Moving to different countries has definitely enlarged my network and increased my appreciation of various cultures, but it has also made it a little bit harder for me to get settled in and join the workforce immediately. What helps me get by is believing that the time I have at the moment gives me the best opportunity to exercise creativity, initiate growth and identify goals.

Here are some of the things we can do to maximize our free time and stay productive.

Rest and Create
Now is the right time to slow down and do the things we had no time for while still employed. That could be as simple as sitting down in a local coffee shop to finish a novel or as complex as re-modeling a house. We can also use the down time to get a creative recharge by producing art. It doesn't matter whether you're a talented painter, a novice photographer or just a DIY-maker. What matters is you are able to exercise creativity, because the more we use our creativity, the more we become creative.

Stay Healthy
While staying up late and being couch potatoes seem like an irresistible idea while we wait for that next job offer, we know better than that. Use the time to rest and relax but not to become completely immobile. Staying fit through exercise is beneficial to both our physical and mental health. According to Dr. John Ratey, associate clinical professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, "Exercise also stimulates brain regions that are involved in memory function to release a chemical called brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF). BDNF rewires memory circuits so they work better." Perhaps now is a good time for us to use that gym membership card that's been collecting dust on our night stand.

Disconnect to Connect
Staying away from social media for a while not only protects us from potential Facebook envy  but also in a way forces us to connect with friends in a more personal and deeper level. I personally use this time to meet new people in our neighborhood and hang out with relatives and friends by organizing small parties and home dinners. By doing so, we increase our network not of merely casual acquaintances or online friends but of authentic, living people who actually care about us.

Study and Learn
Additional skills and certification will always get us ahead in a competitive job market. A survey conducted online by Harris Interactive, on behalf of CareerBuilder reveals that 61% percent of the hiring managers interviewed recommended taking a class during a period of unemployment. Plan your next career move and take classes in line with the position you are eyeing. There are quite a number of learning institutions and universities that provide free online courses like Coursera that can help us keep our skills current. Local libraries also offer some language classes and personal development courses that can be really useful.

Look Within
Take time to obtain inventory of your accomplishments, strengths and competencies. Losing a job does not equate to losing one's identity. We are more than the sum of the positions we had in our previous workplaces. Reminding ourselves about that will remove the pressure we subject ourselves to and give us tremendous relief. Instead of worrying, use the time to really know yourself and what you want to do next. We should also take the opportunity to set short and long-term goals (career or life in general) and identify steps to make them happen.

Look Without
Not surprisingly, you are not the center of the universe. The rest of the world has its own problems and there are a lot of needs to be met. Offering ourselves to a bigger cause can add more meaning and joy to our lives. We can treat this down time as a great chance to volunteer and help the community. On top of that, volunteering can also lead us to our next job. A study conducted by US's Corporation for National and Community Service finds that "unemployed individuals who volunteer over the next year have 27% higher odds of being employed at the end of the year than non-volunteers."

What about you, what were the activities you invested your time in when you were in between jobs?

When I Know You the Most

I hear You the most
Not with the beating of the drums
But in the stillness of the early morn as the birds chirp away
I sense You the most
Not in parades and concerts
But when lovers, mothers and fathers and children, and friends
Exchange I love you's and hugs
I feel You the most
Not when in flamboyant worship
But when witnessing someone help a fallen man get up
I know You the most
Not through dramatic sermons and lectures
But through tongue-tied, ineloquent stories
Of people who arrived at the truth
I see you the most
Not in grand, sparkly, glittery fireworks and celebrations
But in the mundane, raw, repetitive grind of existence.

Life Lessons from a Dying Plant

I bought this hanging plant on sale several weeks ago. It was not very pretty. I had to cut almost all of the major stems and shave off the top part because of the drying leaves that turned brown. After sweeping all the casualties on the floor, I almost regretted I bought it. But I kept it because I believed it had potential. I was merely expecting that the leaves would grow back and I would have a decent plant so our balcony would not be so bare.

Lo and behold- I woke up the other day to find that my scorched and destitute plant, which I thought was about to die soon, not only has managed to come through but also has grown colorful flowers!

I am ecstatic!

Then I just realized that there are lessons to be learned here:

1. Do not judge on outward appearances. Allow nature to take its course and let a person(/plant) bloom in his/her appropriate time.

2. Never give up on someone/something that you know has the potential to become more than it currently is.

3. My job is to water the plant and nurture it. The rest are not up to me.

Fourth, I do have quite a green thumb, don't I? =)

Hoping this sends you positive vibes today....❣

Left Down Under, Now Wandering in Vancouver

WHEN I created this blog in 2007 in Singapore, I never knew that its title would be so prophetic - "Wandering Princess..." Having traveled and lived in so many foreign countries for the past eight years, I am now on my third continent, amazed and grateful for the experience and opportunities that I didn't see coming. I'm learning that life is indeed full of surprises and that a way to enjoy it is to embrace change.

Australia is a really great country to live in. I enjoyed Sydney, Canberra and Melbourne very much. The spaces are massive - parks, subways, buses, beaches and churches; the local produce succulent, fresh and varied. I experienced my first winter in Sydney in June while the rest of the world was going sunbathing and swimming in seas. For someone who had lived in the tropical island of Singapore for six years, it felt like stepping out of a warm oven and into a pool of chilled mixed berries smoothie. I saw kangaroos everywhere, even in supermarkets' frozen aisles. I can say that my listening skills improved a lot in Australia since understanding Aussie accent(s) was quite a challenge at the beginning. My stay there has been a memorable one not only because of the good friends I met through BSF and Hillsong, but also because I got engaged and married there. ♥

But somehow deep down I knew then that the land of Oz was just a transitory phase. Just when we had acquired a cultivated taste for vegemite and beetroot, we found ourselves moving 14,000 kilometers away from it. 

Vancouver is an open door. It's a relatively great city like Sydney yet so different in vibe and culture. There are still unfamiliar places to discover, new friends to meet, and more food to taste but I am in no hurry. I don't know how long will we stay here and what other surprises await us. What I'm certain is I am meant to cherish all I've been given today. =)

English Bay Inukshuk 

The One That Got Away

This rainbow trout looks and tastes like salmon when opened up. Best catch ever.

DO YOU have that one person in your past who you will always remember? The person who met and adored the younger you? The person you had wanted to impress badly so you learned the guitar intro of More than Words? The person you dedicated a full mp3 playlist folder for? The person who belongs in your mental compartment labeled as the one that got away? The one individual whose name has been a metonym for "sayang*"?

I think all of us may have. For some of us, it may not be in the form of a human being, but in an idea, a dream or a vision of what might have been, one which time and fate did not bring to fruition. Your past's almost-there's and your present's what-if's.

It was the summer of 1995 and we were vacationing at our cousin's place. Back then, outdoor activities and street games were a hit among kids our age. We would bask in the warmth of the afternoon sun riding bicycles and gliding on roller blades. We would write on pavements and asphalts with colored chalks and play hopscotch, and would stop only when we hear the clang clang of an approaching dirty ice cream cart. All the kids had funny-sounding nicknames. Except for Eric. He looked different, too. He didn't have those red rubber bands on his wrist or dirty flip-flops. And he didn't smell like the sun. He actually looked like he smelled nice. So we hung out almost every day, just the two of us, talking about everything we know. He would buy me Chippy and soft drinks in transparent plastics with straw. We would ride his bike before dinner. He would sit on the main seat while I stood behind him holding onto his shoulders while stepping on the two opposite protruding metals of the back tire. We both agreed that it was the best time of our life. And then it's time to go. It was almost June and school was about to start. I went home with a long face and a broken heart. I was 11.

Fast forward to several years later and that young love and summer what-if would come back again, but morphed into something less childish, less innocent and more...scarring. The one(s) that got away left me wondering what purpose do they serve in my life. Would it have led to a different outcome if I had tried harder? If I were just a little bit prettier? If I were passionate enough? If we had met in another place and time? If I had known what I knew now?

Jesse: I mean, all - everything is so finite. But don't you think that that's what makes our time, at specific moments, so important?  

Celine: Yeah, I know. It's the same for us, tonight, though. After tomorrow morning, we're probably never going to see each other again, right? We, maybe we should try something different. I mean, it’s no so bad if tonight is our only night, right? People always exchange phone numbers, addresses, they end up writing once, calling each other once or twice…

Jesse: Right. Fizzles out. Yeah, I mean, I don’t want that. I hate that.
- from the movie, Before Sunrise

All these wedding preparations I've been doing have somehow led me to this introspection. Perhaps the ones that got away remain what they are because that's the only way we can handle them. Perhaps the one (great love, best dream, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity) that got away was not allowed to stay for the sake of our sanity and safety. Perhaps the one that got away got away because it has already served its time.

The younger us are oftentimes reckless and volatile; growing up has made us more careful and calculating. And looking back at those faraway memories, layered with the banality of the present, we find excitement in finding an ending to those promising beginnings. But I believe some beginnings don't need endings. Just because. And maybe some beginnings end because they are supposed to, by virtue of free will or changing seasons.

Yes, there are times when we should - we must- chase after a dream and pursue a burning passion, but there are also times when we need to learn when to move forward.

What though the radiance which was once so bright           
Be now for ever taken from my sight,                   
Though nothing can bring back the hour               
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;                     
We will grieve not, rather find                     
Strength in what remains behind...
- Ode, William Wordsworth

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: 
A time to be born and a time to die,     
A time to plant and a time to uproot,     
A time to kill and a time to heal,     
A time to tear down and a time to build, 
A time to weep and a time to laugh,     
A time to mourn and a time to dance, 
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,     
A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
A time to search and a time to give up...  
What do workers gain from their toil? 
I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 
He has made everything beautiful in its time.

          - Ecclesiastes 3

 
*English: regret

I'm So Filthy Rich!

 

My mini and me.... (I kid!)

OUR family has never been rich. I remember back in grade school, we lived in a one-bedroom apartment and I used to sleep in a bug-infested couch. While my classmates from this private Chinese school I attended spent their weekends in the mall watching movies or shopping, my sister and I were stuck in our house trying to entertain ourselves. We could only afford to buy new clothes and shoes once a year - during Christmas; and for our birthdays, we were treated to a Goldilocks cake and homemade spaghetti with hotdogs.

It wasn’t that life was hard and we needed to borrow money all the time to survive, but when you were surrounded by people who had more, you somehow believed that you were in lack.

Eventually we were able to make it through university, thanks to my parents’ and God’s provision, but all those time without having any excess. Our fridge would oftentimes contain only ice and dried vegetables, no leftovers. Shortly after graduation, I decided to work overseas for a couple of reasons, and one of them was to have more than of what I could earn at home. Suddenly I found myself in the 3rd richest country per capita, a place where materialism is inevitable. Yet, despite the wealth, it appeared to me that most people I met did not seem fulfilled. 

While I was there, I was not able to accumulate a massive amount of wealth, but I found my greatest treasure. I understood and witnessed how God loves me and has been taking care of me all those years I was oblivious to His love. Apologies for sounding corny but that is just the truth. He has given me confidence and peace. His Word has given me wisdom, courage and comfort. His Spirit has convicted me and made me aware of my wrongs.

Sure, now we are no longer struggling like before and food is plenty, but I am still what you would call average and middle class. I don’t own properties and I am not even close to being famous, but life becomes sweeter and more abundant when you know who’s making your sun shine. When you experience redemption and grace, you would not exchange it for anything, not even for a billion bucks. =)

“Comparison is the thief of joy”. Theodore Roosevelt

“May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3:19

The Paradox of Salt

I have always underestimated the value of salt to people. Perhaps because it is so ordinary and normal. Salt is ubiquitous yet oftentimes invisible. It is a vital component to almost all industries and compounds, but it never gets emphasized nor is given credit as a standalone ingredient. You wouldn't say that a dish is delicious because it is salty. In fact on its own, salt can't be too useful.

Salt needs to be rubbed into raw meat to tenderize it. It needs to be poured on thick snow to melt the dangerous ice. It needs to be sprinkled on a dish to make it more palatable. Salt needs to be added in water to clean and detoxify. Unlike a diamond that sparkles and is valuable on its own, salt is most useful when it becomes inconspicuous. Salt is best seen when it is not seen.

This mineral, the only rock that we eat, the thing that's in the ocean and in our tears, is used by Jesus to describe Christians. I am reminded that like the humble salt, we must influence and be useful to others without drawing attention to ourselves.

Two properties of salt that we must emulate:
1. Consistency and Immutability - Nowadays we don't treat loyalty as an admirable trait. Society prefers intelligence and skillfulness over faithfulness. But if we are to be like salt, we don't need to be perfect and multitalented; we just need to show up. No matter what.

2. Solubility - As seawater becomes salty because of the dissolved salt, so must the people around us be influenced positively because of the way we live.

from tv.heavenlycall.com

Three practical ways to live as salt, seen yet unseen:
1. Live a palatable life. 
Are you adding value to the world/community through your ability to bring blessing?

2. Bring peace.
Do you easily lose your cool or do you pursue peaceful conversations?

3. Live to purify. 
Do you work to restore families and bring healing to relationships?

There are more than 14,000 uses of salt. Which ones will we choose to be?