Weary of Doing Good

I wonder how a farmer would feel, when after having planted on his field for several months, having toiled day and night, and having braved the harsh rays of the sun, he returns to an empty land. Having anticipated a year's harvest, on which he could feed his family, he comes home to the same irrigated soil that he had left to yield crops half a year ago and finds it fruitless.

Would he cry and curse himself? Would he scream at the heavens and ask God why? Would he throw his open baskets and wooden carts upside down with frustration? Would he still wake up early the next day and work just the same? Would he give up planting?

I'm now finding myself inside the shoes of that farmer - in terms of my work and in other areas of my life. I felt that I've worked hard enough to earn something significant but instead received something that I felt I did not at all deserve. A strong sense of entitlement has engulfed me.

So I began to tell myself - why do I need to do all those things when I know and I've proven that nothing valuable will come out of it? Why do I need to sacrifice and offer myself to people who won't do the same or at least show genuine appreciation to what has been given? Why do I need to continue sowing pleasant seeds when I've only been given thorns and ugly weeds?

Yesterday, as I was contemplating on these things, God reminded me to keep breathing and carry on. I must not allow disappointing situations to remove my joy and change my character. I must give thanks at all times because my security does not lie on people and outcomes but in Him.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  - Galatians 6:9

I know these are just words and where rubber meets the road is another thing, but since I consider these words true and powerful, I'm finding hope.

On Loop

Future wedding song LOL

On A Mission

WHAT is the purpose of my life?

I've been thinking about this thought one night in March as I was preparing to sleep. My bed is comfortable, and so is my life. But right at that moment, a realization hit me.

If to have a successful career, to acquire a massive amount of wealth, and to have a family of my own are what I should aim for in this life, then I'm being short-sighted. I'm convinced to believe that I'm not created by God just to work for money and give birth. Surely, I'm created for something greater than these.

God commands me to love Him with all of my heart and soul and to love my neighbor as myself. If I became the most successful woman on earth but failed to do what He asks me to, then I've totally missed the point. Everything that I do and strive to do must always be an act of obedience to God's commands.

I got up from my bed and wrote the insights I received, which are mostly from the book of Isaiah chapters 58 and 61...
Only God can make my life fulfilling and purposeful and I should endeavor to accomplish these goals -
1. Share God's love to others.
2. Feed the poor and heal the sick.
3. Bind up the brokenhearted.
4. Set the captives free.

Then another question came - but how? I started praying for an opportunity to accomplish these when I remembered that late last year, a friend had asked me to help in a medical mission she's been organizing. I told her that I'd support monetarily because that's the easiest thing to do, but I knew that night that I needed to be more involved. I decided to join a group of them and fly to the southernmost part of the Philippines and deliver medicines and share God's love to its people.

General Santos City, Philippines is home to the famous boxing champion, Manny Pacquiao and Shamcey Supsup, Miss Universe 2011 - 3rd runner up. But those are not the reasons why we chose this particular place to visit. Little did we know that blessings would abound and new friendships would be found there.

Arms loaded with medical supplies, clothes and food items for kids, our hearts filled with hope and in complete dependence on God's faithfulness, the 21 of us journeyed from Singapore to Manila to General Santos.

Within our 3-day stay, we were able to reach out to four communities and to provide them not only with medicines, but also talks on proper hygiene, counseling, and prayer.

For me, the best thing about this experience was not the fact that I'm actually able to do such things as going out of my comfort zone, being brave, and exhausting my resources to help; but the greatest thing was seeing God's hand move despite my/our lack. Anybody else can do good works, and charity is becoming more trendy these days. But I would say that a most successful mission would be one that pointed and reflects to Him who started it all.

All for Jesus!


P.S. Please watch out for our online blog (for more stories and personal testimnonies of the rest) coming out soon - General Santos City Outreach 2012 (gensanmissions.blogspot.com).

Billet-doux



Photo by creativephotographymagazine.com



You are my hiding place

We meet and talk in places only both of us know about

Like a cozy shelter in the middle of the the rain

Like a quiet spot where all my weepings are hushed

The space between your arms

Is where my troubled heart is being balmed

A safe harbor of my deepest secrets

Of old scars and failures

A place where my fears disappear

Where only a sweet melody is playing

Where my soul is weaned and resting

I find no danger in the rush of a great flood

For a mighty refuge I have found

There's no other place I'd rather be

Where you are is where you'll always find me.

The Church is Where I Always Get Offended

Photo by creattica.com

  Coming to Singapore alone for work could be pretty tough. So one of the first things I did a few years back was look for a church. I've seen and experienced the importance of having a spiritual family back in my church in Manila, and my being away from home had made me want to belong in one all the more.

Finding good friends in church is one of the best things that happened to me here. They have been a great help (still are) and a source of strength and encouragement in all aspects of my life. I consider myself so blessed to be surrounded by faithful people who love and serve God with their all.

But it's been ironic and kind of disenchanting to realize that an organization of people with the same values and faith, one that is supposed to model unity and reflect harmony to the rest of the community could be the same group of people who have the power to hurt you the most. Sad to say but I've often been a recipient of what I'd like to think unintentional offenses by people who I dearly love and look up to. Bashes of hurtful words were sometimes thrown at one another with a nonchalant air as if they were harmless ideas just for the sake of "speaking our minds". I can accept open rebuke of blatant sins against the ten commandments, but when judgments are easily made against certain actions that are not necessarily wrong in themselves sans the motives that are wrapped in them, I believe that being legalistic isn't going to be the right way to freedom. There were times when I would find myself crying out to God feeling condemned, misunderstood and heartbroken.

At first, I had thought that maybe I was setting a "different" standard for people in the church and for those who have yet to believe. I told myself that perhaps the reason why we are not very patient with one another is because having been saved by the blood of Christ, we are now expecting our actions towards one another to be beyond reproach. I also blamed myself for being so sensitive and for not being gracious enough. I tried to research more about this concern and it turned out that I'm not the only one. The world wide web is replete with articles and blogs about being offended by people in the Church. There are even books that talk about it.

If I can't be myself in the church, warts and all, be accepted and receive the same kind of grace that Jesus extended to the Samaritan woman, then where else can I be accepted?

Please don't misunderstand me now, my dear readers. I love my church so much. I think it's the coolest church in all Singapore. I'm not giving up on it and its people. After all, I'm very much a part of it just as a toenail is a part of the entire human body. And if I really want to be like Christ, who being spotless and blameless, loved the Church and gave up His life for her (Ephesians 5:25), I must do the same. But I'm also learning that this kind of love is not about showing grace and kindness to people who dress well, who think like I do, who are rich in material things, who help you in times of trouble, who say the right things, who have memorized the Bible from cover to cover, who are reeking of 'holy' fragrance.

I like what John Mark MacMillan said about God's love -

"...not a pretty, clean, it's not a Hollywood, hot-pink love. It's a kind of love that's willing to love things that are messy and willing to love even the difficult and sort of kinda gross kind of things..."

I hope I can love like that. I  hope all of us in Church can love like that. (Philippians 4:13)

In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, love.   - St. Augustine


P.S. To you whom I have offended (or if you've been offended by the Church), please accept my sincere apologies. I hope you'll see through the mess of me, of us, of the church and right into the beauty of the Cross, where the Author of Love was crucified so all of us may be deserving of God's pure, authentic and healing love.

♥

Photo by creattica.com

BEING in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also many things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go.

        - C.S. Lewis

JEREMY LIN, will you marry me?

He came from the end of the bench to the top!


Indeed, it's a privilege to be on the same team as you are - God's Team =)