IN THE EARLY MORNING of October 18, as super typhoon Lando (tropical
cyclone Koppu) landed and storm signal #2 was raised in Manila, on what
was supposed to be the happiest day of her life, a bride was on her
knees weeping...
Do you know the idiom, "Don't rain on my parade"?
Well, it typhooned on my wedding! My prayer the night before was for us
to be able to celebrate our big day the way I originally planned it -
outdoor, in a garden by the bay, with the sun shining down on us and the
wind gently blowing on my veiled face. But as I looked at the pouring
rain outside the window of our hotel room, my heart was breaking into
pieces. I was questioning God. Did I do anything to displease Him? Was
He adding sorrow into something that appeared to be my biggest blessing?
Why, from all the days of the year, would He choose our wedding day to
be visited by a super typhoon?
I went out into the living room of
our suite and climbed into my mother's lap (yes, the whole 58kg of me on
top her frail frame) and we prayed together. She was rubbing my back as
she whispered comforting words into my ear. I've never felt closer to
her than ever. At that moment, my love for her grew and all the wounds
we had inflicted on each other were instantly healed. Suddenly, a cloud
was lifted from my heart and I felt better. God reminded me that
everything is not about me. Nature has to take its course. Nothing is ever within my control. More importantly, there is so
much to celebrate and be grateful for. And there is always Plan B.
I wiped my tears away and uttered a prayer of repentance and
thanksgiving. I had resolved to enjoy the day no matter what. I decided
that I would just roll with it. It didn't take long when all the
suppliers started coming in. I savored the service and attention they
offered me. I was feeling like the happiest person in the room. I was
being transformed within and without!
In my head I knew that Plan B
would not be as grand, as beautiful and as dramatic as the original
plan. Obviously I was disappointed, but I shrugged it off. God had
brought me to that point in my life when I would finally walk down the
aisle and towards the altar where the man of my dreams was waiting. I
knew I was loved.
As I started to enter the makeshift garden
sanctuary and smelled the fresh flowers, I was pleasantly surprised. The
place was intimate, fragrant, and perfect. As we progressed into the
program, I was in tears. I didn't expect that our Plan B would turn out
for the best- for us and our guests. Everything was just beautiful.
I want to encourage you who may be dealing with a storm right now. Just
ride with it. Don't let trials dampen your faith and your spirit. There
are times when our Plan A's don't come to pass and we have to resort to
Plan B. That's alright. Just roll with it. You'll eventually find out
that Plan B's have their own beauty and benefits, too. =)
Our sincere thanks to everyone who came that day and celebrated with us, as well as to those who sent their greetings. Thank you to those who said yes to us and honored their word till the very end. Thank you for including us in your schedule. We will forever treasure your love and friendship.
Chronicles of daily struggles, learning experiences, epiphanies, childlike surrenders, failures, and breakthroughs of an expat's wife
Thursday, November 12, 2015
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
What To Do If You're In Between Jobs
The key is in not spending time, but in investing it.
Stephen R. Covey
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| Unemployment gives you time to do your other passions and to set goals. |
I recently got married to my husband who is an expat, and I am now on my third continent. Moving to different countries has definitely enlarged my network and increased my appreciation of various cultures, but it has also made it a little bit harder for me to get settled in and join the workforce immediately. What helps me get by is believing that the time I have at the moment gives me the best opportunity to exercise creativity, initiate growth and identify goals.
Here are some of the things we can do to maximize our free time and stay productive.
Rest and Create
Now is the right time to slow down and do the things we had no time for while still employed. That could be as simple as sitting down in a local coffee shop to finish a novel or as complex as re-modeling a house. We can also use the down time to get a creative recharge by producing art. It doesn't matter whether you're a talented painter, a novice photographer or just a DIY-maker. What matters is you are able to exercise creativity, because the more we use our creativity, the more we become creative.
Stay Healthy
While staying up late and being couch potatoes seem like an irresistible idea while we wait for that next job offer, we know better than that. Use the time to rest and relax but not to become completely immobile. Staying fit through exercise is beneficial to both our physical and mental health. According to Dr. John Ratey, associate clinical professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, "Exercise also stimulates brain regions that are involved in memory function to release a chemical called brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF). BDNF rewires memory circuits so they work better." Perhaps now is a good time for us to use that gym membership card that's been collecting dust on our night stand.
Disconnect to Connect
Staying away from social media for a while not only protects us from potential Facebook envy but also in a way forces us to connect with friends in a more personal and deeper level. I personally use this time to meet new people in our neighborhood and hang out with relatives and friends by organizing small parties and home dinners. By doing so, we increase our network not of merely casual acquaintances or online friends but of authentic, living people who actually care about us.
Study and Learn
Additional skills and certification will always get us ahead in a competitive job market. A survey conducted online by Harris Interactive, on behalf of CareerBuilder reveals that 61% percent of the hiring managers interviewed recommended taking a class during a period of unemployment. Plan your next career move and take classes in line with the position you are eyeing. There are quite a number of learning institutions and universities that provide free online courses like Coursera that can help us keep our skills current. Local libraries also offer some language classes and personal development courses that can be really useful.
Look Within
Take time to obtain inventory of your accomplishments, strengths and competencies. Losing a job does not equate to losing one's identity. We are more than the sum of the positions we had in our previous workplaces. Reminding ourselves about that will remove the pressure we subject ourselves to and give us tremendous relief. Instead of worrying, use the time to really know yourself and what you want to do next. We should also take the opportunity to set short and long-term goals (career or life in general) and identify steps to make them happen.
Look Without
Not surprisingly, you are not the center of the universe. The rest of the world has its own problems and there are a lot of needs to be met. Offering ourselves to a bigger cause can add more meaning and joy to our lives. We can treat this down time as a great chance to volunteer and help the community. On top of that, volunteering can also lead us to our next job. A study conducted by US's Corporation for National and Community Service finds that "unemployed individuals who volunteer over the next year have 27% higher odds of being employed at the end of the year than non-volunteers."
What about you, what were the activities you invested your time in when you were in between jobs?
Monday, July 27, 2015
When I Know You the Most
I hear You the most
Not with the beating of the drums
But in the stillness of the early morn as the birds chirp away
I sense You the most
Not in parades and concerts
But when lovers, mothers and fathers and children, and friends
Exchange I love you's and hugs
I feel You the most
Not when in flamboyant worship
But when witnessing someone help a fallen man get up
I know You the most
Not through dramatic sermons and lectures
But through tongue-tied, ineloquent stories
Of people who arrived at the truth
I see you the most
Not in grand, sparkly, glittery fireworks and celebrations
But in the mundane, raw, repetitive grind of existence.
Not with the beating of the drums
But in the stillness of the early morn as the birds chirp away
I sense You the most
Not in parades and concerts
But when lovers, mothers and fathers and children, and friends
Exchange I love you's and hugs
I feel You the most
Not when in flamboyant worship
But when witnessing someone help a fallen man get up
I know You the most
Not through dramatic sermons and lectures
But through tongue-tied, ineloquent stories
Of people who arrived at the truth
I see you the most
Not in grand, sparkly, glittery fireworks and celebrations
But in the mundane, raw, repetitive grind of existence.
Monday, July 20, 2015
Life Lessons from a Dying Plant
I bought this hanging plant on sale several weeks
ago. It was not very pretty. I had to cut almost all of the major stems and
shave off the top part because of the drying leaves that turned brown. After
sweeping all the casualties on the floor, I almost regretted I bought it. But I
kept it because I believed it had potential. I was merely expecting that the
leaves would grow back and I would have a decent plant so our balcony would not be
so bare.
Lo and behold- I woke up the other day to
find that my scorched and destitute plant, which I thought was about
to die soon, not only has managed to come through but also has grown colorful flowers!
I am ecstatic!
Then I just realized that there are lessons to be learned here:
1. Do not judge on outward appearances. Allow nature to take its course and let a person(/plant) bloom in his/her appropriate time.
2. Never give up on someone/something that you know has the potential to become more than it currently is.
3. My job is to water the plant and nurture it. The rest are not up to me.
Fourth, I do have quite a green thumb, don't I? =)
Hoping this sends you positive vibes today....❣
Monday, July 6, 2015
Left Down Under, Now Wandering in Vancouver
WHEN I created this blog in 2007 in Singapore, I never knew that its title would be so prophetic - "Wandering Princess..." Having traveled and lived in so many foreign countries for the past eight years, I am now on my third continent, amazed and grateful for the experience and opportunities that I didn't see coming. I'm learning that life is indeed full of surprises and that a way to enjoy it is to embrace change.
Australia is a really great country to live in. I enjoyed Sydney, Canberra and Melbourne very much. The spaces are massive - parks, subways, buses, beaches and churches; the local produce succulent, fresh and varied. I experienced my first winter in Sydney in June while the rest of the world was going sunbathing and swimming in seas. For someone who had lived in the tropical island of Singapore for six years, it felt like stepping out of a warm oven and into a pool of chilled mixed berries smoothie. I saw kangaroos everywhere, even in supermarkets' frozen aisles. I can say that my listening skills improved a lot in Australia since understanding Aussie accent(s) was quite a challenge at the beginning. My stay there has been a memorable one not only because of the good friends I met through BSF and Hillsong, but also because I got engaged and married there. ♥
But somehow deep down I knew then that the land of Oz was just a transitory phase. Just when we had acquired a cultivated taste for vegemite and beetroot, we found ourselves moving 14,000 kilometers away from it.
Vancouver is an open door. It's a relatively great city like Sydney yet so different in vibe and culture. There are still unfamiliar places to discover, new friends to meet, and more food to taste but I am in no hurry. I don't know how long will we stay here and what other surprises await us. What I'm certain is I am meant to cherish all I've been given today. =)
Australia is a really great country to live in. I enjoyed Sydney, Canberra and Melbourne very much. The spaces are massive - parks, subways, buses, beaches and churches; the local produce succulent, fresh and varied. I experienced my first winter in Sydney in June while the rest of the world was going sunbathing and swimming in seas. For someone who had lived in the tropical island of Singapore for six years, it felt like stepping out of a warm oven and into a pool of chilled mixed berries smoothie. I saw kangaroos everywhere, even in supermarkets' frozen aisles. I can say that my listening skills improved a lot in Australia since understanding Aussie accent(s) was quite a challenge at the beginning. My stay there has been a memorable one not only because of the good friends I met through BSF and Hillsong, but also because I got engaged and married there. ♥
But somehow deep down I knew then that the land of Oz was just a transitory phase. Just when we had acquired a cultivated taste for vegemite and beetroot, we found ourselves moving 14,000 kilometers away from it.
Vancouver is an open door. It's a relatively great city like Sydney yet so different in vibe and culture. There are still unfamiliar places to discover, new friends to meet, and more food to taste but I am in no hurry. I don't know how long will we stay here and what other surprises await us. What I'm certain is I am meant to cherish all I've been given today. =)
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| English Bay Inukshuk |
Thursday, February 12, 2015
The One That Got Away
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| This rainbow trout looks and tastes like salmon when opened up. Best catch ever. |
I think all of us may have. For some of us, it may not be in the form of a human being, but in an idea, a dream or a vision of what might have been, one which time and fate did not bring to fruition. Your past's almost-there's and your present's what-if's.
It was the summer of 1995 and we were vacationing at our cousin's place. Back then, outdoor activities and street games were a hit among kids our age. We would bask in the warmth of the afternoon sun riding bicycles and gliding on roller blades. We would write on pavements and asphalts with colored chalks and play hopscotch, and would stop only when we hear the clang clang of an approaching dirty ice cream cart. All the kids had funny-sounding nicknames. Except for Eric. He looked different, too. He didn't have those red rubber bands on his wrist or dirty flip-flops. And he didn't smell like the sun. He actually looked like he smelled nice. So we hung out almost every day, just the two of us, talking about everything we know. He would buy me Chippy and soft drinks in transparent plastics with straw. We would ride his bike before dinner. He would sit on the main seat while I stood behind him holding onto his shoulders while stepping on the two opposite protruding metals of the back tire. We both agreed that it was the best time of our life. And then it's time to go. It was almost June and school was about to start. I went home with a long face and a broken heart. I was 11.
Fast forward to several years later and that young love and summer what-if would come back again, but morphed into something less childish, less innocent and more...scarring. The one(s) that got away left me wondering what purpose do they serve in my life. Would it have led to a different outcome if I had tried harder? If I were just a little bit prettier? If I were passionate enough? If we had met in another place and time? If I had known what I knew now?
The younger us are oftentimes reckless and volatile; growing up has made us more careful and calculating. And looking back at those faraway memories, layered with the banality of the present, we find excitement in finding an ending to those promising beginnings. But I believe some beginnings don't need endings. Just because. And maybe some beginnings end because they are supposed to, by virtue of free will or changing seasons.
Yes, there are times when we should - we must- chase after a dream and pursue a burning passion, but there are also times when we need to learn when to move forward.
What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind...
- Ode, William Wordsworth
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:- Ecclesiastes 3
A time to be born and a time to die,
A time to plant and a time to uproot,
A time to kill and a time to heal,
A time to tear down and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh,
A time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
A time to search and a time to give up...
What do workers gain from their toil?
I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race.
He has made everything beautiful in its time.
*English: regret
Thursday, November 20, 2014
I'm So Filthy Rich!
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| My mini and me.... (I kid!) |
OUR family has never been rich. I remember back in grade school, we lived in a one-bedroom apartment and I used to sleep in a bug-infested couch. While my classmates from this private Chinese school I attended spent their weekends in the mall watching movies or shopping, my sister and I were stuck in our house trying to entertain ourselves. We could only afford to buy new clothes and shoes once a year - during Christmas; and for our birthdays, we were treated to a Goldilocks cake and homemade spaghetti with hotdogs.
It wasn’t that life was hard and we needed to borrow money all
the time to survive, but when you were surrounded by people who had more, you
somehow believed that you were in lack.
Eventually we were able to make it through university, thanks to my parents’ and God’s provision, but all those time without having any excess. Our fridge would oftentimes contain only ice and dried vegetables, no leftovers. Shortly after graduation, I decided to work overseas for a couple of reasons, and one of them was to have more than of what I could earn at home. Suddenly I found myself in the 3rd richest country per capita, a place where materialism is inevitable. Yet, despite the wealth, it appeared to me that most people I met did not seem fulfilled.
Eventually we were able to make it through university, thanks to my parents’ and God’s provision, but all those time without having any excess. Our fridge would oftentimes contain only ice and dried vegetables, no leftovers. Shortly after graduation, I decided to work overseas for a couple of reasons, and one of them was to have more than of what I could earn at home. Suddenly I found myself in the 3rd richest country per capita, a place where materialism is inevitable. Yet, despite the wealth, it appeared to me that most people I met did not seem fulfilled.
While I was there, I was not able to accumulate a massive amount of wealth, but I found my greatest treasure. I understood and witnessed how God loves me and has been taking care of me all those years I was oblivious to His love. Apologies for sounding corny but that is just the truth. He has given me confidence and peace. His Word has given me wisdom, courage and comfort. His Spirit has convicted me and made me aware of my wrongs.
Sure, now we are no longer struggling like before and food is plenty, but I am still what you would call average and middle class. I don’t own properties and I am not even close to being famous, but life becomes sweeter and more abundant when you know who’s making your sun shine. When you experience redemption and grace, you would not exchange it for anything, not even for a billion bucks. =)
“Comparison is the thief of joy”. Theodore Roosevelt
“May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3:19
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