I'm So Filthy Rich!

 

My mini and me.... (I kid!)

OUR family has never been rich. I remember back in grade school, we lived in a one-bedroom apartment and I used to sleep in a bug-infested couch. While my classmates from this private Chinese school I attended spent their weekends in the mall watching movies or shopping, my sister and I were stuck in our house trying to entertain ourselves. We could only afford to buy new clothes and shoes once a year - during Christmas; and for our birthdays, we were treated to a Goldilocks cake and homemade spaghetti with hotdogs.

It wasn’t that life was hard and we needed to borrow money all the time to survive, but when you were surrounded by people who had more, you somehow believed that you were in lack.

Eventually we were able to make it through university, thanks to my parents’ and God’s provision, but all those time without having any excess. Our fridge would oftentimes contain only ice and dried vegetables, no leftovers. Shortly after graduation, I decided to work overseas for a couple of reasons, and one of them was to have more than of what I could earn at home. Suddenly I found myself in the 3rd richest country per capita, a place where materialism is inevitable. Yet, despite the wealth, it appeared to me that most people I met did not seem fulfilled. 

While I was there, I was not able to accumulate a massive amount of wealth, but I found my greatest treasure. I understood and witnessed how God loves me and has been taking care of me all those years I was oblivious to His love. Apologies for sounding corny but that is just the truth. He has given me confidence and peace. His Word has given me wisdom, courage and comfort. His Spirit has convicted me and made me aware of my wrongs.

Sure, now we are no longer struggling like before and food is plenty, but I am still what you would call average and middle class. I don’t own properties and I am not even close to being famous, but life becomes sweeter and more abundant when you know who’s making your sun shine. When you experience redemption and grace, you would not exchange it for anything, not even for a billion bucks. =)

“Comparison is the thief of joy”. Theodore Roosevelt

“May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3:19

The Paradox of Salt

I have always underestimated the value of salt to people. Perhaps because it is so ordinary and normal. Salt is ubiquitous yet oftentimes invisible. It is a vital component to almost all industries and compounds, but it never gets emphasized nor is given credit as a standalone ingredient. You wouldn't say that a dish is delicious because it is salty. In fact on its own, salt can't be too useful.

Salt needs to be rubbed into raw meat to tenderize it. It needs to be poured on thick snow to melt the dangerous ice. It needs to be sprinkled on a dish to make it more palatable. Salt needs to be added in water to clean and detoxify. Unlike a diamond that sparkles and is valuable on its own, salt is most useful when it becomes inconspicuous. Salt is best seen when it is not seen.

This mineral, the only rock that we eat, the thing that's in the ocean and in our tears, is used by Jesus to describe Christians. I am reminded that like the humble salt, we must influence and be useful to others without drawing attention to ourselves.

Two properties of salt that we must emulate:
1. Consistency and Immutability - Nowadays we don't treat loyalty as an admirable trait. Society prefers intelligence and skillfulness over faithfulness. But if we are to be like salt, we don't need to be perfect and multitalented; we just need to show up. No matter what.

2. Solubility - As seawater becomes salty because of the dissolved salt, so must the people around us be influenced positively because of the way we live.

from tv.heavenlycall.com

Three practical ways to live as salt, seen yet unseen:
1. Live a palatable life. 
Are you adding value to the world/community through your ability to bring blessing?

2. Bring peace.
Do you easily lose your cool or do you pursue peaceful conversations?

3. Live to purify. 
Do you work to restore families and bring healing to relationships?

There are more than 14,000 uses of salt. Which ones will we choose to be?

The Bride and Our Bridegroom

Last night, we threw a bridal shower for our dearest friend, Nips. She is getting married in three days and we couldn't have been happier and more excited as we blessed her with touching messages and meaningful bridal gifts to "send her off" to the next season waiting for her. Joanne, Nips' best friend since college, facilitated and gave a message centered on Revelation 19. Jo used the upcoming wedding of our friend and all the phases leading to it to create a beautiful metaphor of what our relationship with our "Groom" should look like. She asked us tough questions and I sensed my heart coming undone. 

  

You see I've been going through rough valleys these past few months. I was filled with negativity, anxiety and weariness. Things were not looking up and I sensed myself to have fallen behind this race. The prayers coming out of my mouth never seemed to get past the ceiling. I was close to the Fire but my heart's never been this cold.

Jo reminded us last night that Jesus performed his first miracle in a wedding (at Cana). Why of all occasions, a wedding? Because a wedding or a marriage is the closest depiction that we will ever have of an invitation from God. Jesus has sacrificially and lovingly chosen us to be His bride. He redeemed us and clothed us with white garments of holiness and righteousness - qualities impossible to attain.

As I sat there listening to Nips talk and witnessing her prepare for one of the most important events in her life, my tears fell as I also witnessed God's love and beauty. He has truly made everthing fell beautifully into place for Nips. The mistakes, the heartbreaks, the waiting, the struggles - God used all of these to bring her to this point. Right at that moment, I felt Him so real again and I couldn't help but worship and fall in love all over again.

What have I been doing all along? Wallowing my life away because of the things I do not have when I needed to prepare for a special event myself? His coming.

Last night, I felt something within me opened up, and for the nth time in my tender age of 29, I surrended to Him again. God is really mind-blowing. He has this uncanny way of putting you in seemingly dry areas but always providing sweet, romantic oases along our deserts' way.

Yes, I am head over heels with the One who has been head over heels in love with me first.

Are you head over heels in love, too?

A Smarmy Christian

To be honest, I am one.
I am a fake.
I declare myself as a follower
Of the One who loves unconditionally
Of the One who gives unselfishly
Of the One who is gracious
Of the One who is patient and kind
I wear a badge
Made to set me apart from the rest
But I'm no different
I am not patient
I am not kind
I choose who to love
I give when it is convenient
I fail every test of faithfulness
Place me in the midst of a crowd
And you won't see me shine
Cause I am a knock-off
On the verge of  despair
I tend to forget one truth -
That the badge I have
I did not earn
I could have loved with all my heart
I could have given all I've got
I could have aced all the tests
But I still won't measure up
I am a soldier
Facing an important battle
Against myself
But I can't just back down
Not to save face
Or continue the pretense
But because I choose to
I'll carry this cross
To the end of the race
To perfection

Tearjerker Moment at the Office

God spoke to me and I know it’s Him. This story is too amazing not to share!!! As I am typing this entry, tears are still flowing . . .

LAST NIGHT I was chatting with Meg over ym and we discussed the special project we had in our discipleship group (long story). She asked her friend Alex some questions about Christian femininity. One particular question focused on beauty – what would Alex consider attractive/beautiful and he gave awesome answers – nothing physical at all. He listed down these qualities:

Compassionate, Unassuming, One who doesn’t harbor ill judgments – always sees the best in people, and Passionate about little things that are often overlooked

Meg and I were stumped – but in a pleasant way! We said our goodnights and told each other that to have these qualities was what we would be praying for that night. And I did just that.

After the lengthy monologue, I told Dad I love Him – several times. But being the doubting Thomas that I am, I wanted a reply. I wanted to hear and be assured (although I already know) that He’s saying I love you back. I asked God that if ever He will tell me He loves me, it should be very obvious because I can be dense sometimes – like I should see a drawing or text in a wall or an electric post….I cried myself to sleep last night because I never heard anything – not even the wind’s whisper.

I completely forgot about last night’s episode as I arrived in the office earlier today. I became busy with my tasks but suddenly caught myself humming a tune that goes like, “with you I have felt the same… la da da dad a…” I know it’s from Lifehouse because I heard it before but I forgot the title. I searched through my ipod but it wasn’t on my list. I went to Grooveshark.com to listen online. I typed Lifehouse and this is the song that came in …..

SIMON
Locked inside
the only place where
you feel sheltered
where you feel safe
You lost yourself in your search
to find something else to hide behind
The fearful always
preyed upon your confidence
Did they see the consequence
when they pushed you around
The arrogant build kingdoms
made of the different ones
Breaking them 'til they've become
just another crown
and i have...
Felt the same as you,
I've felt the same as you,
I've felt the same

you don't know
why they had to go
This far traded your worth for these scars
for your only Company
don't believe the lies
that they’ve told to you
Not one word was true
you're alright,
You're alright,
You're alright and i have...
felt the same as you,

I've felt the same as you,
I've felt the same as you
I've felt the same
la da da da dala da da da dala
da da da dala da da da dala
da da da dala da da da da
AS YOU, I’VE FELT THE SAME

Then I remembered last night … and it dawned on me that this is the reply! I know I’m not just giving too much meaning to this because I wasn’t even listening to Lifehouse today. The last song on my head before I came in was Katy Perry and Timbaland’s If We Ever Meet Again!

I know in my heart that this is how creative and amazing God is!
He told me He's felt the same!!!!! Woooooohoooooo!!!!

Update: Simon, I learned, means "I have heard" in Hebrew! Wooooohoooo some more!!!

My Thanksgiving slash Costume slash Birthday Bash

Last Halloween night, I celebrated my 26th birthday and 2nd year in Singapore with a costume party. My actual birthday is on the 9th but I figured it would be fun to host a halloween party for my friends. I rented the betty davis room at the House in Dempsey Hill, a quiant place located just after Orchard Road and which shelters a line of restos, bars, spas, and food shops.

There's actually ongoing halloween parties everywhere that night, and that's when I learned that people here regard Halloween seriously. Hence, the costumes...

I even had gate crashers that night!

Introducing Mr. One-Night Stand...

and Mr. (Flat) Iron Man!

Of course, my friends and I came with our own numbers...

But more than having fun at our costume party, I consider that night as very special for I was able to share my testimony to all my friends on how God has been faithful and loving as I go through troughs and valleys within my two years of stay in Singapore.

I came here last 2007 looking for a job with less than a thousand US dollars in my wallet. I only have two friends back then - an officemate from Manila and a college friend who lent me his condo while he's travelling to Japan. I lost my job two times in less than a year and found myself to a point of no hope, not to mention no funds to even buy a plane ticket to return home. But my Heavenly Dad has blessed me beyond measure. From 2 friends, I now have more than a dozen...and counting! From a jobless girl without a laptop, I'm now a fairy with wings...haha!

If there's one most valuable thing I've learned that I can share, it would be that it's better to trust God than to trust on myself. I just want to thank and honor God for being a generous, loving, and a miracle-making Father! The ROCK rocks, indeed!

View more pictures of our halloween in Singapore in my Multiply site. :-)

Down Moments

Blessed are the moments when I feel discouraged, for I have never been closer to my God as now. I need to stop focusing horizontally - on my self, and really start fixing my eyes upward.

I just received the news - my UBC MBA application was denied. How many nights have I been dreaming about the moment when my 'sack' will become a 'scholarship'? Apparently, I dream too much and too far. So here I am feeling like an utter failure, and apologizing constantly to God and to the mirror for being a disappointment.

Fortunately, I have my podcast to encourage me. There are 3 suggestions by Chuck Swindoll:
1. Claim His strength.
2. Remember your Love.
3. Seek His fullness.

I need to be enveloped with the deep, deep love of Jesus - vast, unmeasured, boundless, free... Right.NOW.

Fast Tense

I didn't know that I could make it, but I did. I survived a 7-day fast (sans mood swings and faint episodes)! Our church recently called for a corporate fast to start the year petitioning for breakthroughs and miracles, and I eagerly joined in. I believe it is the only way to inform God how serious I am in laying down all my heart's desires. Jesus gave me His Word, "You can pray for anything, and if you've believed that you received it, it will be yours." So holding on to that promise, I committed myself to forego of the things that keep me from having more time with Him: eating 3 meals (or more) a day, blogging, FB-ing, and sleeping (too much) for one week.

I went on one day at a time, fighting the temptation to eat more than one meal a day. I guess one motivation for me was knowing that Jesus fasted for 40 days and I was only doing it for 7 days. How shameful!

I also went to the one-hour prayer meetings after office. The place was quite a distance from where I live and the fact that I wouldn't be able to eat when I got back home gave me a somber spirit as I took the dreadedly loooong mrt ride in one of those nights.

I sat on one of the train chairs and rested my head on the cold divider ready to close my eyes, when all of a sudden a baby boy started screaming. I looked to see what was happening. His mother was pulling her up but he wanted to stand on his own. She lifted him to carry him against her chest as the train moved along. But the crying child wanted to be free. He was shrieking as he tried to pull away from his mother's grasp.

Right then, I wanted to scream back. I was hungry, tired, and irritated. The last thing I wanted was a noisy baby throwing tantrums in front of me. Right then, I so wanted to tell the kid that his mom was pulling him in because she knew he would surely fall. He couldn't stand perfectly on his own yet, especially with the moving wheels beneath his feet. I thought to myself, if only he knew then he wouldn't scream, shriek, and struggle. Aaaaargh!

Suddenly, something tugged within me. Watching that scene was like watching my life and other people's. I realized that we are the same kid who shriek, yank, and struggle. God wants to pull us in for safety, but we couldn't understand - yet. If only we knew...

Home Alone on Christmas Eve!

This is my first time to spend Christmas away from my family. Since moving in here in Singapore, I've been doing quite a lot of things on my own, but I occasionally fly back home for special events- holidays, weddings, and the like, but this time I couldn't afford it and I didn't want to. Surprisingly, I don't feel sad at all. In fact, I feel contentment, joy and blessings overflowing in my life. God is just amazing; He has always been.

A month ago, I lost my job. I didn't even think that I would have a very merry Christmas. Back then, everything didn't matter so long as I found a job to cover the next month's rent. But now, God has placed me in a company of generous, cheerful, pleasant, and lovely co-workers! They gave me gifts and encouragement as if I were working with them for a long time. I could have been hired by the other companies I previously applied to, but God has other plans and He indeeed has a reason for everything. After all, He does all things well :)

Right now, I'm watching Love Actually (for the 3rd time I think). It is one of my favorite feel-good holiday movies. I'm waiting for my housemates to arrive from work so we can all feast together. But I'm savoring this wondrous feeling that is a blessing in itself- solitude. The rain has just stopped and I can sense the dampness of the chilly air blowing from my window. The grey clouds are still and the sun is beginning to light up the horizon though not as harsh as on a sunny day.

Allow me to bask in all this- the quiet holiday break, piles of dark chocolates from friends, a good book on my bedside table, the pleasantly cold weather, sunlight from my windowpane, singlehood and independence, and the opportunities to celebrate the ongoing works of Jesus in my life.

On Our Way Home

An entry by Mary Southerland for Girlfriends in God Series.

One of my favorite movies is "Apollo 13" in which we first heard those famous words, "Houston, we have a problem", an understatement, to say the least. The astronauts faced seemingly impossible odds of getting back to earth but refused to give up the fight until they splashed down in the waters of home.

Life is much the same. We are often thrust into a daily life of foreign and often frightening worlds, shaky circumstances, and impossible trials with no obvious way of escape. It seems like we will never get home and our world will never be right again.

I have discovered a truth that surfaces in my heart every Christmas holiday. We all come into this world with a sense of being lost. Tucked into the corner of our souls is a feeling of restlessness...a longing for home, for something eternal. That longing will never be satisfied outside of a relationship with Him! God holds each today and every tomorrow in His hands. Nobody and nothing can fill the "God-shaped" hole in our heart.

I have come to cherish that desperate heart cry that drives me to my knees and into the lap of my Father! Each and every time I come to Him, He whispers, "It will be all right. You are not home - yet."

I do not want this broken and torn world to be my final home, but merely a place I am passing through. While I am here, I have a God-sized job to do, an extraordinary mission to complete and a wonderful purpose to fulfill. Is that awesome or what? Absolutely! But it is only the beginning of the eternity for which I was created. It doesn't get any better than that, my friends.

So as you dive into your hectic schedule, remember that one day, we will be home - with Him - but until then, let's celebrate here! Guard your hearts and mind by filling them with God's Word. Hold fast to the true meaning of the season and don't let go! Look for ways to share the message of the manger, embracing that longing for home as a sweet reminder that one day we will celebrate His birth in Heaven. What a Christmas that will be! And we are on our way home!