it's always like springtime with You

Your light is breaking through the dark...
This is what You do - You make me come alive.
❤

Untitled

I was walking around the 'hood the other day just people watching when I suddenly came up with a short poem. Not out of insecurity but out of curiosity, I asked...

Freckles and pointed noses
Paper-white faces with cheeks of roses
Deep wells of brown, green,
And sometimes blue
Wonder if they’re saying
I’m beautiful, too? 

A Done Decade: Farewell, Twenties

 Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty. -Robert Frost

I love to be in my 20s. I had the grandest time living it - finishing college, enlarging my network of friends, working in the corporate field for the first time, committing a lot of embarrassing mistakes, falling in love, making life-changing decisions, knowing God, moving countries, saving for a house and insurance, and becoming completely independent. Sure, there were some things I'd rather not do if given a chance to re-live my life, but looking back I realized that even the silliest mistakes gave me something valuable to keep.

For some reason, now that I hit 3.0 I don't really feel pressured or anxious to join the society's cultural bandwagon. I often hear people say that once you hit a certain age, you should have already accomplished something revolutionary and have made a mark in the society. Jesus started his ministry at 30. Martha Stewart made a career change at 30 and became a billionaire in her 30s. Albert Einstein developed the theory of relativity at 30. And my favorite comparative analysis - my grandmother already had seven children by the time she turned 30. 

At Madame Tussaud's wax museum

But never mind Einstein or my grandma! Life is not a competition where we are required to collect as many medals as possible. I've come to realize that each of us has a unique background, a unique set of experiences and competencies, and are created for a specific purpose that's not like everybody else's. So let's just make the best out of what we have and be who we are supposed to be.

Saying goodbye to my 20s has given me the courage (as well as a good excuse) to grab the opportunity to move to a new continent. I left a promising job and six years' worth of friendship and books to migrate to a country with reversed seasons. I have yet to settle in completely but I am definitely enjoying the change of environment (oh so much space)!

I consider 3.0 as a rebirth. I know I am about to enter into a new season opening up to a different set of issues and challenges but the past decade's memories are not far behind me. I'm expecting some major changes, especially on the anatomical front (ugh) but I hope to still be the same girl who's in love with life and her Creator.

Here's to Jules 3.0 promising to be the best daughter, friend, worker, and princess that she can possibly be!

So help me God.

Weekend in Saigon

TRAVEL is indeed a good teacher. From history to anthropology to linguistics, the amount of diverse knowledge you can gain just by crossing oceans is tremendous. My college friends and I recently went to Ho Chi Minh for some bonding time. Since there are now numerous budget airlines operating in Southeast Asia, traveling can now be a spur-of-the-moment activity.

This was actually my second trip to Vietnam. The first was in 2010 on a backpacking trip to Hanoi, Siem Reap, Bangkok and Phuket for Chinese New Year. Since Cams, our friend with incredibly itchy feet, enticed me with the pretty cheap airfare, and since I haven't explored Saigon/HCM that much, I happily went along. Because we would be staying there for only one night, the plan was to just hang out, relax and have coffee. No guided tours, no Cu Chi Tunnels, just idle time with weasel and baguettes.

Photos by Camille Venturina

The streets of Saigon are flooded with motorbikes and its sidewalks lined with peddlers and food stalls luring you to buy fresh tropical fruits, tasty salad, and delicious baguettes. Vietnam for me has one of the best and cheapest coffee in Asia. The $1 coffee we had by the roadside was just heavenly - rich and slightly bitter with a tinge of coconut taste.

taken by Camille Venturina

 

 

The hotel we stayed in is located near Ben Thanh market so shopping was definitely included in our itinerary. I must say that Vietnam is slowly catching up with Bangkok in terms of being a shopping destination. The clothes I saw in Saigon mall were fashionable, cheap and of good quality. The jewelry we found were classy and modern. We even found a very gorgeous 120-dollar long gown inside one of the small boutiques. Cathy, who initially planned to have her dress custom-made in Singapore, didn't need to think twice and bought it right away.  

A clean room for S$56 a night

 

Beef pho

 

A dozen of shopping bags and a gallon of caffeine later, we found ourselves headed to the Fine Arts Museum and the War Remnants Museum expecting to see some French-inspired art pieces and photographs of pre-/post-war Vietnam.

taken by Camille Venturina

When we arrived at the War Remnants Museum (Bảo tàng chứng tích chiến tranh), we were greeted by an exhibit of large tanks and fighting planes parked before the main building. There were a number of Caucasians taking photos and doing a selfie beside the artillery on display so we followed suit.

taken by Camille Venturina

 

I vaguely remembered what Vietnam War was all about. All I could remember from history class was that it was between North and South Vietnam and that the United States was a major player that stepped in to quell communism in Indochina. (No) thanks to Broadway entertainment, romance always comes to mind when Vietnam War or Fall of Saigon is mentioned. Rhoda and I even sang the chorus of Sun and Moon while waiting for the two girls to finish their photo session with engines of dusty black-painted metals as backdrop.

 

 

 

I was not prepared to see the photos that were waiting for us on the second floor. Hanging in a wall painted in orange were photographs of disfigured infants and children, most of them with missing limbs, mental disorder and other physical deformities.

 

collage by Camille Venturina

It turned out that these people were victims of a deadly chemical called Agent Orange used by the United States army during the war.

U.S. troops covered with metal masks in preparation for the spraying of Agent Orange in Southern Vietnam

In 1961, President John Kennedy approved the use of herbicides to defoliate the dense jungles of Vietnam. This decision turned a bitterly fought war into an illegal, immoral, and humiliating contest for the United States and an ecological catastrophe for Vietnam.

The Americans sprayed the forests and rice fields of Vietnam with Agent Orange, a concoction of 2,4,5-T and 2,4-D, two exceedingly toxic weed killers. One of them, 2,4,5-T, was contaminated by TCDD-dioxin, the most potent molecule in the industrial world's chemical arsenal. - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/evaggelos-vallianatos/vietnam-in-the-aftermath-_b_2989215.html

More than four million of the population were exposed and the effects of the toxin manifested until the third generation of post-war Vietnam. Until now, there is still an ongoing lawsuit against the United States government and continuous lobbying for a thorough cleanup of Vietnam from the chemical. My heart broke into pieces as I looked at the faces of the innocent victims who were unfortunate to be born in that decade of the Cold War.

War is ugly. War ravages a nation and its people. War strips dignity off a human being.

I was born in the 1980s and grew up in the time when beauty pageants became popular as every home saw the arrival of the television set. I remembered the all-too-familiar answer to the standard question, "What is the most important thing you would wish for the world to have?" Suddenly, it didn't sound so much of a cliche anymore.

Good thing our trip didn't end on that very sad note. We had another round of coffee and more servings of spring rolls afterwards. But as I remember the city of Saigon, I promise not to forget the lessons and the new information I received. I will surely include Vietnam in my prayers and may the coming generations really achieve what every living soul desires to have - peace.




  
        

Bakit Mahirap Ang Mga Filipino

Nakapanghihinayang na karamihan ng mga libreng sulating nagbibigay kaalaman na matatagpuan sa internet ay nasa wikang Ingles. Ang mga ito ay hindi lang mahirap matagpuan ng mga simpleng Pinoy, dahil hindi naman lahat ay mayroong kompyuter at internet, hindi pa sila madaling maunawaan dahil ito ay nasa wikang banyaga. Isinalin ko sa wikang Filipino ang napaka-makahulugang artikulong isinulat ni F. Sionil Jose, Why Filipinos Are So Poor para sa aking ina na mas matatas sa wikang Filipino kaysa wikang Ingles. 

photo from cnn.com

Ano ang kalagayan ng Timog Korea pagkatapos ng digmaan laban sa Hilagang Korea nuong 1953? Gulagulanit, lugmok sa kahirapan - ngunit ano na sila ngayon? Nuong dekada 50, ang trapiko sa Taipei ay binubuo ng mga bisikleta at sasakyan ng mga sundalo, ang kanilang kalsada ay napopostehan ng mga mabababang gusaling gawa sa baldosa. Ang Jakarta (Indonesia) naman ay isang higanteng nayon at ang Kuala Lumpur sa Malaysia ay isang maliit na nayon na napalilibutan ng gubat at mga plantasyon ng goma. Ang Bangkok sa Thailand ay puro kanal, ang pinakamataas nitong gusali ay ang Wat Arun, Tiyemplo ng Araw, at ito lamang ang nangingibabaw sa panorama ng kanyang lungsod. Puro tanimang-palay hanggang sa Paliparang Don Muang - mula sa pulong ng mga bodegang may binarnis na yerong bubong, hanggang sa kanyang Monumento ng Tagumpay. 

Dalawin niyo ang mga ciudad na ito ngayon at kayo ay mapapahagulgol - dahil sila ay di hamak na mas maganda, mas malinis at mas matagumpay ngayon kaysa sa Maynila. Nuong dekada 50 at 60, tayo ang pinaka-kinaiinggitang bansa sa buong Timog-Silangang Asya. Pakatandaan na nuong 1949 kung kailan ang Indonesia ay naging malaya, ito ay mayroon lamang 114 na nakatapos ng kolehiyo kung ikukumpara sa daan-daang Filipino na may Ph.D.'s. 

Bakit nga ba tayo napag-iwanan? Sa larangan ng pang-ekonomiya simple lang ang sagot. Hindi tayo nakagagawa ng mura at dekalidad na produkto.

Ang pangunahing tanong talaga ay kung bakit hindi natin agarang ginawang makabago ang ating bansa kaya naman lugmok pa rin tayo sa kahirapan. Ito ang malupit na katotohanan tungkol sa ating bansa. Ating isaalang-alang ang mga ito: May 15 taon na ang nakararaan nang magkaroon ng pagsisiyasat tungkol sa ating mga estudyante. Ipinakita nito na kalahating porsyento ng mga mag-aaral na nasa elementarya ay humihinto sa pag-aaral pagkatapos ng ika- 5 baitang dahil sa kawalan ng pera. Dahil dito, libu-libong kabataan ngayon ang walang mahanap na trabaho. Ang ating likas na yaman ay ating winawasak at ito ay hindi na mapapalitan. Ang hindi mapigil na paglago ng ating papulasyon ay kumakain sa ano mang kitain ng ating ekonomiya. Gutom ang larawan ng ating bansa ngayon; ang ating pinakamahirap na kababayan ay kumakain isang beses sa isang araw lamang. Ngunit ang kahirapang pisikal na ito ay hindi ganon katindi kung ikukumpara sa isang nakahihigit na kahirapan na ating tinatamasa at iyon ay ang kahirapan ng ating espirito.

Bakit sa aspetong iyon tayo ay mahirap? Higit na 10 taon na ang nakararaan, ang dayuhang namamatnugot ng Atlantic Monthly na si James Fallows ay pumunta sa Pilipinas at sumulat siya tungkol sa ating nasirang kultura na kanyang giit ang siyang rason ng ating hindi pag-unlad. Marami ang hindi sumang-ayon sa kanya ngunit para sa akin may katotohan ang kanyang obserbasyon. Hindi ko sinasabing dapat isisi ito sa koloniyalismo. Ngunit marami tayong namanang hindi maganda mula sa bansang Espanya, kasama na rito ang maling pamamalakad at ang pagsasamantala ng mga elitistang makapangyarihan sa masang Filipino. At dati, sa bandang Timog-Kanlurang Europa, kung nasan ang Tanglaw ng Iberia, ang mga trabahong ginagamitan ng mga kamay ay minamata at hindi pinapahalagahan. Maaaring wala nang dahuyan ang nananakop sa ating bansa, ngunit tayong mga Filipino ay napapailalim pa rin sa koloniyalismo ng mga elitista ngayon.

Tayo ay mahirap dahil tayo ay mahirap - ito ay hindi isang pagpapaliguy-ligoy. Ang kultura ng kahirapan ay may kakayahang manatali at magpatuloy. Tayo ay mahirap dahil tayo ay tamad. Napapadaan ako sa lugar ng mga iskwater tuwing umaga - karamihan ng mga nakatatanda ruon ay walang ginagawa kundi magchismisan at uminom ng alak. Hindi tayo nag-iipon. Tingnan natin ang mga Hapon kung paano sila mag-impok sa kabila ng mataas na interes ng kanilang mga bangko. At napakasipag nila.

Tayong mga Filipino ay hambog. Tingnan natin ang ating mga ginang at dalaga, napaka-maburloloy manamit at si Imelda ang isang magandang ehemplo ng kaluhuan. Tingnan natin ang ating mga ginoo - naka-kyutiks ang mga kuko, ang kanilang madilaw na alahas at malalaking diyamante. Yabang - ito tayo, at ang mga salaping nagastos upang mapalago ang reputasyon, dahil sa yabang. Mahusay sana kung inilaan na lang iyon sa hanap-buhay.

Tayo ay mahirap dahil ang ating nasiyonalismo ay makitid at panluob lamang. Nagkukubli rito ang ating kagustuhang protektahan ang mga inutil na industriya at mga kumpanyang hawak ang karamihan ng negosyo sa bansa. Hindi natin isinulong ang agrarian reform tulad ng Japan at Taiwan. Ang ating gobyerno ay hindi ginawa ang lahat nang makakaya para mabigyan ng mga lupa ang ating mga magsasaka. Ang magiging dulot na pagbabago sa sistema ng ating agrikultura ay nagbibigay ng kakayanan sa ating mga may-ari ng lupa upang maging negosyante at magsulong ng pagbabago at hindi lamang upang maghintay ng ani.

Ang ating mga iniidolong nasiyonalista ay sina Claro M. Recto at Lorenzo Tańada na pilit tumanggi sa agrarian reform, ang isa sa pinaka-importanteng kadahilanan na maaring magpaunlad sa ating probinsya. Silang dalawa ay di hamak na ayaw lamang at di kampi sa mga Kano.

At panghuli, tayo ay dukha dahil pinakawalan natin ang ating pundasyon ng moralidad. Hinahayaan natin mamuno ang mga tiwali sa gobyerno at ang kanilang mga kumpadre at matatalik na kaibigan. Pikit-mata tayo sa mga magnanakaw at masasamang tao sa ating paligid. Hinahayaan natin silang manatili sa posisyon dahil ang ating katapatan ay nasa kamag-anak o kaibigan at hindi sa ikauunlad nang nakararami.

Maaari nating matugunan ang kahirapan sa dalawang natatanging paraan. Ang unang paraan: isang rebolusyon, ang pagpapatuloy ng sinimulan nuong 1896. Ngunit bago muna tayo gumamit ng dahas upang mapalitan ang hindi pantay na kalagayan ng ating lipunan, dapat muna nating baguhin ang ating pag-iisip, ang ating kultura. Ang aking panghihinayang sa nangyari sa EDSA ay ang pagbabago ay nakamit sana nang hindi dumadanak ng dugo. Sa katunayan, ang isang rebolusyon ay hindi kinakailangang marahas kung ang isang diktador ay hindi tulad ni Marcos.

Ang pangalawang paraan ay sa pamamagitan ng edukasyon, marahil ng isang mahaba at mabusising paraan. Ang tanging problema lamang ay maaari itong tumagal nang napakahabang panahon na sakaling ang ating kondisyon ay unti-unting magbago, tayo ay maaaring nakabalik na sa dating kinagawian, natatali sa unang problema ng malaking populasyon na pinalalala ng Simbahang Katoliko dahil sa kanyang mariing pagsunod at maling pagkakaintindi sa mga turo ng relihyon.

Tayo ay nahaharap sa isang lumalagong pagkagusto sa karahasan, ngunit kahit na manalo ang mga komunista, sila ay hindi magtatagumpay sa pagpapalakad ng bansa dahil sila mismo ang magiging biktima ng bulok na sistema at kultura, ang barkada sa gobyerno, ang napakalaking ulo na isinuko ang rebolusyon nuong 1896, ang pag-aalsa ng Hukbalahap nuong 1949-53.

Inuulit ko, hindi magiging matagumpay ang edukasyon maging ang isang rebolusyon kung hindi tayo magkakaroon ng bagong pag-uugali at bagong pag-iisip. Balikan natin ang ating pangunahing kaalaman at alalahanin ang mga sawikain ng mga Amerikano: Isang Ford (sasakyan) para sa bawat garahe. Isang manok para sa bawat palayok. Ang salapi ay parang pampataba ng lupa: upang magdulot ito ng kabutihan ay kailangang ipamahagi. May mga Filipino, nasusuklam kung nasan man sila, ay ikinahihiyang amining sila ay Filipino. Ako man ay nahihiyang magpaliwanag, halimbawa kung bakit si Imelda at kanyang mga anak at kaibigan ay nagbalik, at nasa posisyon pa ng kapangyarihan sa ating gobyerno!

Mayroon bang mga katangiang pwedeng ipagmalaki ang ating bansa? Ay syempre naman, at napakarami nila! Halimbawa, nuong may mga nagsasabi na ang katiwalian sa ating pamahalaan ay hindi na mawawala, pakatandaan na si Arsenio Lacson bilang alkalde ng Maynila at si Ramon Magsaysay bilang Presidente ay nagdala ng malinis na gobyernong may integridad. Wala man tayong klasikong sining dala ng Hinduismo at Budismo sa Timog-Silangang Asya, ngunit ang ating mga gawad ng sining ay hinahangaan sa buong mundo, ipinapakita kung ano ang kaya nating gawin sa mga sining ng banyaga na pinayaman lalo na ng ating sariling kultura at tradisyon. Ang ating mga edukadong propesyonal, hindi lamang ang ating mga katulong, ay nasa iba't-ibang bansa, ipinapakita kung gaano tayo kagaling!

Tingnan natin ang ating kasaysayan. Tayo ang unang bansa sa Asya na nag-aklas laban sa koloniyalismo ng mga banyagang mananakop. Isaalaala ang Labanan sa Pasong Tirad at ang pagkadakila ni Gregorio del Pilar at ang 48 na mga Filipinong namatay ngunit nagawang pigilan ang mga sundalong Kano para mabihag ang Presidente ng ating kauna-unahang republiko. Katumbas nito sa sinaunang kasaysayan ay ang Labanan ng Thermopylae kung saan ang mga Griyegong Spartano at ang kanilang Haring Leonidas ay nagbuwis ng buhay upang ipagtanggol ang kanilang lupa laban sa mga Persiyano. Rizal - sinong ibang nasyon ang nagluwal ng isang kagaya niya? Nuong siya ay 35 anyos, siya isa nang manunulat, makata, antropologo, iskulptor, manggagamot, guro, at martir. Ang ating bilang ay nasa 80 milyon na at sa susunod na dalawang dekada, ito ay hihigit na sa 100 milyon.

80 milyon - ito ay isang napakalaking merkado ng anumang wika, isang merkado na dapat ay siyang kukonsumo ng ating mga kalakal at serbisyo - masang merkado na magbibigay ng pagkakakitaan sa ating mga maliliit na negosyante, tulad ng kilalang-kilalang langis para sa bawat lampara ng mga Tsino.

Ang mga Hapon ay nasa 70 milyon lamang nang sila ay maglakas-luob na hamunin ang Estados Unidos at sila ay muntik pang magwagi. Ang lakas ng loob na ito ang nagbigay kakayanan sa kanila upang umunlad at tumayo mula sa pagkakatalo nuong Ikalawang Digmaang Pandaigdig.

Hindi ko nais na tayo ay humanap ng isang dayuhang makapangyarihan upang hamunin. Ngunit mayroon tayong isang lihim at tunay na mapanirang kaaway na kailangang masugpo, at ito ay masahol pa sa di-papatalong dayuhan. Tayo mismo ang ating sariling kalaban. Kinakailangan nating magkaroon ng pambihirang tapang at lakas ng loob, determinasyon upang baguhin ang ating mga sarili.



Ang bersiyon sa wikang Ingles ay matatagpuan sa pahina na ito - http://liberaleconomy.wordpress.com/2006/11/23/fsionil-joses-why-are-filipinos-so-poor/

Tips* To Help Boost Your PR Application

I AM officially a permanent resident of Singapore. *Applause* Thank God!

I just completed my formalities a few days ago and I am now an adopted daughter of this nation. I can still remember when I was a newcomer in 2007. The SG government back then were encouraging foreigners from selected schools to sign up for the EPEC (Employment Pass Eligibility Certificate) which allows them to stay for a year as a legitimate job seeker. I wrote a post about that a few years ago too. I took a leap of faith and grabbed the opportunity to be independent and obtain an international experience. I never planned to stay this long but God has blessed me with good jobs, great opportunities and loving people that made my stay so much more fun and life-changing.

So Young: Nips, Jo and I at Sentosa. No work yet but still smiling!

First housemates. Thank you so much for your kindness to me. I miss you three!

At the risk of sounding pedantic, I came out with some pieces of advice for people and friends who are planning to apply (or re-apply) for permanent residency. I do not really have the right answers, but after three applications, two rejection letters and five years of waiting, I have gained a tiny bit of knowledge on what can strengthen one's application.

1. Fill up the forms with complete details. Do not omit anything - the addresses of all the places you resided in, the jobs you've had, etc. In my first application, I didn't include one of the previous jobs I had because I was only there for a few months, without realizing that the system has a record of every single (tax) activity I undertook.

2. Sell yourself in the accomplishment section. If possible, monetize your achievements. State your contribution to your companies in dollars and cents. Have you helped increase their revenue/profit? Have you developed a new process that's revolutionary? Then state it literally.

3. Integrate with the community. Volunteer in different charities and organizations or be involved in clubs and associations relevant to your profession. If you want to be here for the long haul, then don't just be here for the money or comfort. The government is looking for the right people who can contribute to the nation-building. Do not milk the system but make a difference.

4. In relation to tip # 3 - be truthful and sincere. State only the things that you have done or are doing. Do not do things just for show. People will know eventually.

5. Make sure you're in the right job. Part of the requirement is to submit your resume, degree/diploma and transcript of records. Is your current job related to what you studied in college? If not, then take courses or move to another job that is more relevant.

6. Prove your significant contribution in terms of taxes and job stability. If you are planning to apply for PR, do not job hop. Show them that you are doing fine in your current job and have been consistently paying your taxes.

7. Be in good terms with your colleagues, especially people from the HR department. Do not antagonize anybody from HR. I know someone who applied for PR after a quarrel with his HR manager. His rejection letter read, "We regret to..... because of conduct."

8. Do not give up. If you get rejected once, twice, or several times, press on! The immigration officers may finally come to a realization that you are genuinely determined to be a part of this country and that you are diligent and brave enough to take chances.

9. Change. If you have been rejected and want to apply a second time, you have to show a change/improvement in your application. It could be a higher tax contribution, salary increase, courses taken, and the like. You don't just re-submit what you have submitted previously.

10. Wait. Sometimes right timing is key to acceptance.

If you've done all these and still got the same results, then maybe it's time to re-think your long-term plans. Your skills and talents may be so much more needed elsewhere. This can also mean that perhaps the status quo is what's best for you right now. There is a time for everything and you'll get it at the perfect moment. =)



*not foolproof

Tell Me How Books Helped You Succeed and I'll Give You Free Books.

Hello, friends. Thanks for dropping by my site.
To celebrate my four years in the book publishing industry, I plan to give away two free books.

Here are the mechanics:

1. Write about how books have helped you succeed (in life, work, love, etc).
2. Be honest; no fiction please. No limit to word count but entries must be in English.
3. You can send them as a reply to this blog post, as a comment on my Facebook link, or as a private message through email (jules dot yap [at] hotmail dot com).
4. Please help spread the word.
5. If you were chosen as the winner, you must promise me you will read the free book (or give to someone who will) =).

Two winners will be chosen randomly and they will receive these books:

Creative Writing and Art History

Adobe Creative Suite 6 Design and Web Premium Digital Classroom

I will ship the books to the winners' mailing address via normal post but overseas recipients may have to bear some custom charges or taxes.

Thanks and I really look forward to reading your entries. ^_^

Because life comes in daily doses...

BLOG writing has been neglected. Apologies to my three avid readers. But there hasn't been

photo nicked from guardian.co.uk

any exciting thing to write about recently.
What would you do when the everyday grind leaves you exhausted, when work becomes stale, when the most adventurous thing you could do is take a selfie, when aging manifests itself in so many body parts, when most of your prayers go unanswered, and when certain things you used to look forward to stop giving you the tickles?

Well, here are the things I'm planning to do:
1. Recharge by doing something significant for someone.
2. Be grateful for the blessings that work gives me.
3. Exercise to release endorphins.
4. Wait patiently while humming a tune.
5. Bask in the glory of my youth or at least what remains of it.
6. Enroll in a course for self-development.
7. Get over myself and refresh others.

What about you? What would you do during this season?
Hope we come out more motivated and inspired to take that daily dose (whether it may be of lemons or cherries).

Have a great weekend, everyone! =)

The Bride and Our Bridegroom

Last night, we threw a bridal shower for our dearest friend, Nips. She is getting married in three days and we couldn't have been happier and more excited as we blessed her with touching messages and meaningful bridal gifts to "send her off" to the next season waiting for her. Joanne, Nips' best friend since college, facilitated and gave a message centered on Revelation 19. Jo used the upcoming wedding of our friend and all the phases leading to it to create a beautiful metaphor of what our relationship with our "Groom" should look like. She asked us tough questions and I sensed my heart coming undone. 

  

You see I've been going through rough valleys these past few months. I was filled with negativity, anxiety and weariness. Things were not looking up and I sensed myself to have fallen behind this race. The prayers coming out of my mouth never seemed to get past the ceiling. I was close to the Fire but my heart's never been this cold.

Jo reminded us last night that Jesus performed his first miracle in a wedding (at Cana). Why of all occasions, a wedding? Because a wedding or a marriage is the closest depiction that we will ever have of an invitation from God. Jesus has sacrificially and lovingly chosen us to be His bride. He redeemed us and clothed us with white garments of holiness and righteousness - qualities impossible to attain.

As I sat there listening to Nips talk and witnessing her prepare for one of the most important events in her life, my tears fell as I also witnessed God's love and beauty. He has truly made everthing fell beautifully into place for Nips. The mistakes, the heartbreaks, the waiting, the struggles - God used all of these to bring her to this point. Right at that moment, I felt Him so real again and I couldn't help but worship and fall in love all over again.

What have I been doing all along? Wallowing my life away because of the things I do not have when I needed to prepare for a special event myself? His coming.

Last night, I felt something within me opened up, and for the nth time in my tender age of 29, I surrended to Him again. God is really mind-blowing. He has this uncanny way of putting you in seemingly dry areas but always providing sweet, romantic oases along our deserts' way.

Yes, I am head over heels with the One who has been head over heels in love with me first.

Are you head over heels in love, too?