I did my best...

But I guess my best wasn't good enough...

I just took the GMAT today for the 2nd time around, hoping my score would increase. But I guess I should have listened to people's advice: taking the gmat more than once is counter-intuitive... My score remained the same- below 600 :( . I was stumped; there goes my shot at a scholarship.

Now, I have mixed feelings. I would like to be optimistic about this and to not allow this brick wall to get in the way of my ambitions. But something within me also wants to yield and acknowledge that perhaps I'm not really cut out for this mba dream.

I don't know. All I could do is shrug and thank God because I'm not in this alone. He is still the captain of my ship. I want to be taken to greater heights, but if by being in this valley still will give Him all the more glory, then so be it.

Gadgets & Gizmos Aplenty? ..but who cares no big deal, we want more!

Guiyu, China -- This is where all our electronic waste is going back to, right where it came from. "The city of Guiyu is home to 5,500 businesses devoted to processing discarded electronics, known as e-waste. According to local websites, the region dismantles 1.5 million pounds of junked computers, cell phones and other devices a year. " (Time Magazine, January 2009).

Although rehashing electronic gadgetry is a thriving business in this part of China, it is also the reason why Giuyu has the highest level of cancer-causing dioxins in the world. In my opinion, it is okay to accumulate gadgets to satisfy a need, after all, technology upgrade is a must. But if it is just so we can keep up with Joneses, pulease!

Here's how we can help:

1. Bring back old TV sets and components to Sony, Samsung & LG. They take them back for free.
2. Sell your antiquated mobile phone to Greenphone.com.
3. Donate old computers. Dell can recycle for you.
4. Hold back on buying new gadgets too soon. My grandparents did not even have a microwave back in the days, but they survived just fine.

www.time.com/ewaste

Fast Tense

I didn't know that I could make it, but I did. I survived a 7-day fast (sans mood swings and faint episodes)! Our church recently called for a corporate fast to start the year petitioning for breakthroughs and miracles, and I eagerly joined in. I believe it is the only way to inform God how serious I am in laying down all my heart's desires. Jesus gave me His Word, "You can pray for anything, and if you've believed that you received it, it will be yours." So holding on to that promise, I committed myself to forego of the things that keep me from having more time with Him: eating 3 meals (or more) a day, blogging, FB-ing, and sleeping (too much) for one week.

I went on one day at a time, fighting the temptation to eat more than one meal a day. I guess one motivation for me was knowing that Jesus fasted for 40 days and I was only doing it for 7 days. How shameful!

I also went to the one-hour prayer meetings after office. The place was quite a distance from where I live and the fact that I wouldn't be able to eat when I got back home gave me a somber spirit as I took the dreadedly loooong mrt ride in one of those nights.

I sat on one of the train chairs and rested my head on the cold divider ready to close my eyes, when all of a sudden a baby boy started screaming. I looked to see what was happening. His mother was pulling her up but he wanted to stand on his own. She lifted him to carry him against her chest as the train moved along. But the crying child wanted to be free. He was shrieking as he tried to pull away from his mother's grasp.

Right then, I wanted to scream back. I was hungry, tired, and irritated. The last thing I wanted was a noisy baby throwing tantrums in front of me. Right then, I so wanted to tell the kid that his mom was pulling him in because she knew he would surely fall. He couldn't stand perfectly on his own yet, especially with the moving wheels beneath his feet. I thought to myself, if only he knew then he wouldn't scream, shriek, and struggle. Aaaaargh!

Suddenly, something tugged within me. Watching that scene was like watching my life and other people's. I realized that we are the same kid who shriek, yank, and struggle. God wants to pull us in for safety, but we couldn't understand - yet. If only we knew...

The Day the Earth Stood Still

This is really not a movie review. I don't want to rave about it, because I believe that it could have been done better, especially with such a good theme and visual effects. And what movie would have gone wrong with uber-gorgeous Keanu on board? Tell me!

I just want to blog about it because having been born 3 decades after its 1951 original release (and thus, did not have the opportunity to view it), I want to remember the book/film's wake-up call through this version.

"At the precipice, things begin to change." -Professor Barnhardt (John Cleese)

Only when we humans are on the brink of defeat or total destruction, do we think of turning back from our evil ways. Only when we are in utter powerlessness do we consider righteous surrender. Very true, isn't it?

In the movie, Keanu (Klaatu) is sent to oversee the salvation of the earth from its ultimate enemy - humans. However, as Helen Benson's (Jennifer Connelly) kind and selfless spirit begins to unfold, he starts to feel compassion and is compelled to change the doomed fate of mankind.

This story is so familiar to me. If I'm not mistaken it happened around 2000 years ago...

"Change His [decision] not by reason but by what you are."
-Professor Barnhardt saying to Helen as he urges her to convince Klaatu to stop the destruction of humans

only by Grace...

Grace, my new boss in my new job is SUPER SWEET! She just gave me her own brand new Microsoft Windows Live i-buddy. I told her she didn't have to and I could just take one later, but she told me this is an exclusive piece and we are not producing any more stocks next year. This morning, I just found the cute thingy on my desk! :) It works as a laptop or PC accessory that lights up whenever an IM buddy gets online and flaps its wings once you received a message on MSN. Microsoft rocks!

Because I wasn't able to give her anything for Christmas, I created a CD of songs for her as a New Year's present. It's a good thing her name is a virtue so thinking of a cover design was easy. Hehehhe.

When she received the cd, she went wow so many times and showed it to all our sales staff telling everyone how pretty the girl on the cover is. I'm so happy she liked my gift.

Wow, 2008 zoomed in quite fast! What a year indeed. I remember it was not long ago when I was just jotting down my faith goals, and now I need to come up with a new set this soon! Well, I had my share of highs and lows this year, but I am utterly grateful on how this year has turned out for me. I just want to share some of the most important highlights and blessings I received this year- only by Grace:

1. Mummy Ana Manzano & the rest of my cell group. I was waiting to be connected with a group in my previous churches here in Singapore but after a few months of seeking, I was still shepherd-less. One day, my best friend Danzen who is working for Proudly Filipina, told me that they featured Connie Reyes in their show, and after the shoot, Connie Reyes prayed for her! Then, I remembered that Connie Reyes goes to VCF. I went into its site and found out that it is a member of Every Nation Church. I clicked on the link and found Mummy's name in their online list of leaders. I got attracted to the name (also because it's very Filipino. yay!) Our group has really provided a lot of support and has helped me mature in my faith, develop a sense of divine perspective, and learn more of the things that truly matter. I just love being in fellowships with them.

2. Having met Marian Jarquin- American slash Taiwanese slash Nicaraguan babe and one my best friends in Singapore. We went through a tough time in our previous job, but looking back I am grateful that we were together for encouragement, companionship and prayer. She's now in California and I hope to visit her soon (or vice-versa). I'm going to miss having lunch with her and watching her eat the same thai fried rice every day because that's the only thing her picky tummy can bear.

3. Turned 25 this year! I believe I am becoming more and more responsible and discplined by the day. Uhm honestly, being 25 doesn't feel any different than being 21 or 23 or 24. But I notice that I have become wiser, increased my level of persistence, become more patient and yielding, and of course- have grown more beautiful! :-)

4. Shifted to our new flat! This place is nicer, less expensive and closer to the MRT & my workplace.

5. FREE swimming lessons with Coach Lingam @ NUS Campus. I was actually willing to pay a hundred bucks for a personal coach but this came as a blessing. Goodbye salbabida, hah!

6. My new, shiny pink Sony Vaio- the most expensive (monetary-wise) unexpected blessing I received. The story on this miracle is a whole new blog entry altogether. So thanks be to God whom we can never outgive.

7. Friday dinner dates with Nipsy. This year, Nips started to work with Unilever Singapore. From Unilever-Manila to SG, Nips has her own incredible testimony to share. :) I look forward to our upcoming dates, Nipso!

8. MBA Applications- finally came around to accomplishing this. It took me months to actually pysch myself to review for the gmat and take the whole mba frenzy seriously. I've been to a lot of mba tours and have received career advice from the experts, so I really feel that I'm on the right track. I'm really praying hard for a UBC-Sauder scholarship to land on my mailbox. Just believe!

Here's to a more exciting and brighter year ahead! I pray that you will be taken to greater heights in all aspects of your lives, dear friends. Let's 'fix our [future] thoughts on what is true and honorable, on what is right and pure, and lovely and admirable- things that are excellent and worthy of praise.' (Ph 4:8)

Blessed 2009, Everyone!
XOXO from Super hot & Sunny Singapura!

Mwah!

Home Alone on Christmas Eve!

This is my first time to spend Christmas away from my family. Since moving in here in Singapore, I've been doing quite a lot of things on my own, but I occasionally fly back home for special events- holidays, weddings, and the like, but this time I couldn't afford it and I didn't want to. Surprisingly, I don't feel sad at all. In fact, I feel contentment, joy and blessings overflowing in my life. God is just amazing; He has always been.

A month ago, I lost my job. I didn't even think that I would have a very merry Christmas. Back then, everything didn't matter so long as I found a job to cover the next month's rent. But now, God has placed me in a company of generous, cheerful, pleasant, and lovely co-workers! They gave me gifts and encouragement as if I were working with them for a long time. I could have been hired by the other companies I previously applied to, but God has other plans and He indeeed has a reason for everything. After all, He does all things well :)

Right now, I'm watching Love Actually (for the 3rd time I think). It is one of my favorite feel-good holiday movies. I'm waiting for my housemates to arrive from work so we can all feast together. But I'm savoring this wondrous feeling that is a blessing in itself- solitude. The rain has just stopped and I can sense the dampness of the chilly air blowing from my window. The grey clouds are still and the sun is beginning to light up the horizon though not as harsh as on a sunny day.

Allow me to bask in all this- the quiet holiday break, piles of dark chocolates from friends, a good book on my bedside table, the pleasantly cold weather, sunlight from my windowpane, singlehood and independence, and the opportunities to celebrate the ongoing works of Jesus in my life.

The Antidote.

Thumbing through the loose threads at the knees of my trf jeans
I listen to the huskiness of Paolo Nutini’s voice as he strikes a soft G.
I wonder why the neighbour’s dogs have stopped barking
Could it be that they’ve lost their voice?
Or perhaps bashfulness is at their senses’ reach
If only I could sniff just as well...
But maybe they’re also like me
Picking up the pieces
Of whatever’s left of the pellet on the floor
And maybe just like me
Summer is their favourite season
A time of rice cakes and strawberry milkshakes
Sunsets and cheese omelettes
Bicycle rides and ipod tunes
Whistles and stares
(Though I wouldn’t be bothered)
Making dog-ears in my beloved paperbacks
Rendezvous with my polygamous lovers-
There’s Coke after lunch
Ice creams at supper
And Cadbury whenever
Poetic License. Geraniums.Orchids.Daffodils.
Treading barefoot
Along my custom-made valley
A prerequisite for the mountain heights
Whistling on a rainy Sunday
With a drenched cardboard for cover
Listening

Seeking

Waiting

Enjoying

Living for moments that take my breath away...