The Church is Where I Always Get Offended

Photo by creattica.com

  Coming to Singapore alone for work could be pretty tough. So one of the first things I did a few years back was look for a church. I've seen and experienced the importance of having a spiritual family back in my church in Manila, and my being away from home had made me want to belong in one all the more.

Finding good friends in church is one of the best things that happened to me here. They have been a great help (still are) and a source of strength and encouragement in all aspects of my life. I consider myself so blessed to be surrounded by faithful people who love and serve God with their all.

But it's been ironic and kind of disenchanting to realize that an organization of people with the same values and faith, one that is supposed to model unity and reflect harmony to the rest of the community could be the same group of people who have the power to hurt you the most. Sad to say but I've often been a recipient of what I'd like to think unintentional offenses by people who I dearly love and look up to. Bashes of hurtful words were sometimes thrown at one another with a nonchalant air as if they were harmless ideas just for the sake of "speaking our minds". I can accept open rebuke of blatant sins against the ten commandments, but when judgments are easily made against certain actions that are not necessarily wrong in themselves sans the motives that are wrapped in them, I believe that being legalistic isn't going to be the right way to freedom. There were times when I would find myself crying out to God feeling condemned, misunderstood and heartbroken.

At first, I had thought that maybe I was setting a "different" standard for people in the church and for those who have yet to believe. I told myself that perhaps the reason why we are not very patient with one another is because having been saved by the blood of Christ, we are now expecting our actions towards one another to be beyond reproach. I also blamed myself for being so sensitive and for not being gracious enough. I tried to research more about this concern and it turned out that I'm not the only one. The world wide web is replete with articles and blogs about being offended by people in the Church. There are even books that talk about it.

If I can't be myself in the church, warts and all, be accepted and receive the same kind of grace that Jesus extended to the Samaritan woman, then where else can I be accepted?

Please don't misunderstand me now, my dear readers. I love my church so much. I think it's the coolest church in all Singapore. I'm not giving up on it and its people. After all, I'm very much a part of it just as a toenail is a part of the entire human body. And if I really want to be like Christ, who being spotless and blameless, loved the Church and gave up His life for her (Ephesians 5:25), I must do the same. But I'm also learning that this kind of love is not about showing grace and kindness to people who dress well, who think like I do, who are rich in material things, who help you in times of trouble, who say the right things, who have memorized the Bible from cover to cover, who are reeking of 'holy' fragrance.

I like what John Mark MacMillan said about God's love -

"...not a pretty, clean, it's not a Hollywood, hot-pink love. It's a kind of love that's willing to love things that are messy and willing to love even the difficult and sort of kinda gross kind of things..."

I hope I can love like that. I  hope all of us in Church can love like that. (Philippians 4:13)

In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, love.   - St. Augustine


P.S. To you whom I have offended (or if you've been offended by the Church), please accept my sincere apologies. I hope you'll see through the mess of me, of us, of the church and right into the beauty of the Cross, where the Author of Love was crucified so all of us may be deserving of God's pure, authentic and healing love.

♥

Photo by creattica.com

BEING in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also many things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go.

        - C.S. Lewis

JEREMY LIN, will you marry me?

He came from the end of the bench to the top!


Indeed, it's a privilege to be on the same team as you are - God's Team =)

Awesome 2011, Faithful God

Image courtesy of Socialnomics.net

THE Guy in this picture is Tim Tebow. I learned about him at church today. According to Wikipedia, he is a 24-year old American football player who is currently the starting quarterback for the Denver Broncos of the National Football League (NFL). He was born in the Philippines to American missionaries.

What's so unique about this guy is that he prays before the start of every game. He bends on one knee and prays to God while the rest of his team mates stretch or wave at the crowd. He became famous for doing this that a term to describe this act was coined from  his surname - tebowing. Urban Dictionary defines it as (vb) To get down on a knee and start praying, even if everyone else around you is doing something completely different. Well, this entry is not really about Tim Tebow but you may google him to find out about his achievements ;-)

So what's the connection between him and this praise report? Hehe. I guess this tebowing thing pretty much explains how and why 2011 was an awesome year for me. The start of the year was characterized by a lot of on-my-knees moments, just crying out to God and asking for favors for difficult situations. And just like the year before and the year before the year before, He's proven Himself to be faithful, dependable and trustworthy. There were some things that I did not accomplish (like being in the cover of Time hahaha), but I wouldn't have my 2011 any other way.

Our lifegroup has grown this year! Apple, Diane and Izanne joined us and we're having so much more fun ever since.

As I mentioned before, I was given the opportunity to mentor this dynamic group of lovely, young women and lead them closer to Christ. Our schedules may have been crazy but we still found the time to bond and do a lot of activities last year -

Biking at East Coast Park

Kite Flying at Marina Barrage

Bali, Indonesia

Jane got engaged! Finally haha

A few weeks before Christmas, all of us went to visit a home for mentally disabled patients. We sang Christmas carols, fed them and gave gifts. We decided not to give each other gifts and eat somewhere fancy last year but instead to spend some time with those people who are not really sure if they are loved and wanted.

Image courtesy of FireflyMission.org

At the home front, my sexagenarian parents are still doing well. No major sickness and they were able to visit me for a week! My wallet was not very happy last May but my heart was :p

Momma & Papa

I was also able to go home twice last year. One for Jeff and Annie Belen's wedding and the other time to do an outreach activity and give some love to the street kids of Sta. Lucia East.

Playing games :-)

I'm also still a volunteer teacher at kid's church and still being refreshed by these cute kids. Through them, I'm learning to be more creative, definitely more patient and be a better communicator. Kids in this generation are really way smarter than they look. =)

ENCS Kids wearing their coat of many colors made by themselves!

I was also able to find time to enrol at BSF International last year. It is a non-profit organization that teaches the Bible for free. I'm so honored that they featured my poem in their website. Read here.

 
At the work front - I finally met our department's big boss from New York. She's (lady sitting in front of me) such a darling and she only has praises for our team. And she told my boss (the man to my left) I'm pretty, behind my back! :D But on a serious note, I'm really blessed to have a good working relationship with my boss and my team mates. Praying that I will excel more this year =)

Lookie lookie! Guess who's the youngest in the team? =P

Lastly, the icing on my huge chunk of cake came late last year. I was able to be included in the group that went to Israel! Our trip to Holy Land was something that I would remember forever - it is truly life-changing.

Watch the video of us singing Hebrew songs :-)

I hope that  you who is reading this will be encouraged to trust in God. I wouldn't have had an awesome 2011 if not for His steadfast love and never-ending favor.

Let's tebow our way to an even greater 2012! :-)

"The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness." 
- Lamentations 3

I Found A Man Who I'd Be Willing to Marry in A Heartbeat*

SO A LOT of you are STILL asking why I'm still single. Well, I've already answered that a year ago with this entry. That was a long answer and the short answer is - yes, I am indeed that choosy. Plus add it to the fact that good men are starting to become extinct lately. Echoing the ukulele-strumming Jack Johnson, Where'd all the good people go? I've been changing channels. I don't see them on the TV shows. Where'd all the good people go? We got heaps and heaps of what we sow...

However, just last month, I met a man whom I'd be willing to get married to in a heartbeat. No questions asked. He possesses all the qualities I'm looking for in a potential lifetime mate and more. But the one basic thing that attracted me to him is this - the greatness of his character.

Let me tell you a few things I learned about character -

"A talent is formed in stillness, a character in the world's torrent." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (German poet), 1749

"How true Daddy's words were when he said: all children must look after their own upbringing. Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands." - Annelies Marie "Anne" Frank, 1929.

"We live in a day when image is placed over character, and I'm angry about it. When the chips are down and life is down to its basics, I don't care how he looks or how he sounds. I care what he is, I care how he thinks. I care what he represents!" - Charles R Swindoll, 1934.

For me, the character of a person determines how he responds to any given adversity or temptation. It is definitely not something that can be achieved overnight, but rather the result of a long process of living and struggling through life's difficulties. In a world of moral erosion, character is what makes a man or a woman stand out.

So what's so great about the character of this man I met just a month ago?

For one, he not only knows the truth but he fights for it. He is a principled man and it shows in how he speaks and how he treats people around him. When I ask him questions, he pauses and thinks first before answering. He looks into my eyes when I'm talking. He knows how to listen well. He doesn't pretend that he knows everything, but often admits that he doesn't really know a lot. When he promises to do something, he will really do it. He always says thank you.

He is honest. He tells facts without adding anything to them. He is always quick to inform me if it's a given fact or it's just his own opinion. He is very humble. He never talks about himself. The only times he does are when he is honoring God and when he is honoring his country. He is very brave.

He is modest. He buys the same style of shoes not because they are fashionable but because they work for him well. His living room does not contain plastic action figures or photos of himself but tons and tons of books that he is actually reading. He eats healthy and encourages me to do the same. His idea of a perfect date does not involve the bed or alcohol but a day spent having good conversations over tuna sandwiches.

He is good friends with a lot of people, even those people who don't share the same beliefs or religion. When I needed to go to the toilet urgently in the middle of an open sea, he didn't roll his eyes or make faces. He kindly took me to a secluded spot with overgrown bushes and went away so I could relieve myself. He loves to sing to me while playing the piano or his guitar.

The time that he brought me to the airport and said goodbye, he touched my face with the palm of his hand not out of lust or with malice but only with pure and tender sincerity. He is a true gentleman.

He makes me good pastrami sandwiches, too.

The name of the man who I'd be willing to marry in a heartbeat is Arie Bar-David. He is 64 years old with eight grandchildren and lives in the outskirts of Jerusalem, Israel. He is happily married to Esther who looked like Kirsten Dunst when she was in her 20s. I consider Arie as one of my living heroes.

Unless I find someone who has at least a quarter of Arie's character, I guess I would never settle then.

I would be more than fine just being single. =)




*Credit goes to WJNTY's blog post for giving me the inspiration.

My Creative Christmas Gifts

Earlier this month, I promised myself not to be caught up in the mad rush of holiday gift-buying. I'm starting to find all these commercialism and profit-making attitude surrounding Christmas to be really unnecessary, not to mention detrimental to our savings accounts. In addition, this gift-giving tradition built around this season tends to make people expectant of something that shouldn't be mandatory, but which now appears to be. On top of these, I've observed that Christmas gift manufacturers deprive people of the ability to exercise creativity in their giving. Every shop I go to, I see toys, toiletries, chocolates, and basically all kinds of commodity that are already part of our weekly grocery list - only wrapped in cute boxes and colorful packaging ready to be given away. Maybe I'm missing it, but what is so cool about them?  (Note: To those who have given me those kinds of gifts, thank you so much. I sincerely appreciate it. But more than them, I cherish our friendships more. I'm not complaining. Please read on and you'll understand me.)

Unfortunately for me, I've already been suckered into buying a few of those re-packaged goods before I came to this realization : p. Good thing I came across this article published online by Girlfriends in God encouraging women to think about giving meaningful and creative gifts from the heart. So I thought about it and challenged myself to be different this time. If you know me personally, you'd know that one thing I truly value is friendship/relationship. It's true and obvious that giving gifts is one way to cultivate friendships but lately I realize that the gifts I've been giving people won't stand a long time in their drawer, much more so in their memories.

It's so easy to pick any item in a department store to give as a gift, but what's been a struggle for me is to give a part of my time away. Nobody should mess up with my "me-times". They're valuable and should not be wasted away with interactions outside of my comfort zones. But then again, if I remain that way, I would be depriving myself of a great investment, a lot of brainwork, and most of all a bunch of good times!

So my dear friends who are reading this, be prepared to receive something different from me this year.
Drum roll please...

These are coupons that would entail the holder to enjoy the activity printed on the card. =) I have friends who are working moms and I know the babysit voucher would be a great help.

What about you? How will you be creative with your Christmas gifts?

4pm in Israel

As soon as we arrived at the Yad Hashmona Kibbutz Hotel, in a village located a few kilometers away from Jerusalem City, we were greeted by the beautiful sunset and I was inspired to write another poem -

A magnificent gradient of red and yellow
A backdrop of shooting colors in the heavens glowed
Slack-jawed in the beauty that I see
I regret every moment when I questioned You if you truly loved me

The orange sun peeking through pillows of clouds
Creates some notions and inner doubts
Is this the sunrise which is the beginning of a new day
Or is this nighttime when all brightness fades away?
Pretty much how Your will works out
Incomprehensible at the start
Questionable in the middle
Unacceptable because I know so little
But a perfect masterpiece once fulfilled and has settled

Father, thank You for sunrises and sunsets
For fulfilled promises and seemingly unchangeable regrets
Thank You for keeping me guessing all the time
What matters now is You, the Creator of the universe, calls me Mine.